# 7

; anxiety

This may come as a surprise to some family and friends, but I have anxiety issues.

For one, as an occasional performer from young, I have mild stage fright. Like I get the tiny little butterflies fluttering in my stomach before I get on stage. ( I know you would have thought that I’d be over it by now )

But the real problem kicked in towards the end of 2015. I started to get anxiety attacks.

Here’s a little back story about me:

I used to be an extroverted person, a social butterfly. And that part of me just shattered when something happened two years ago. Till this day, I am not sure if it was because of that incident, or if the incident ‘blew up’ my anxiety.

Reading posts and watching videos online made me understand two things:

  1. That I was having anxiety attacks and that was okay.
  2. That everyone experiences anxiety attacks differently.

When it happens (and it comes randomly), my chest feels tighter, my breathing becomes more labored and I cannot focus on what anyone is saying. And my recovery speed largely depends on my environment.

After experiencing a few attacks, I have come up with a few triggers myself:

  1. Crowded places
  2. People pressurising me
  3. Negative thoughts (though this one is the most rare cause)

Although these may very well be the triggers, it doesn’t happen all the time (lucky me!). And I’m pleased to find that there are a few things that help me overcome it!

  1. Music
  2. Closing my eyes and imagining a peaceful scene

As of yesterday, I made two important decisions – to learn how to drive, and ‘learn’ how to date. These two decisions came from my wanting to overcome my fears. I don’t know exactly why but something tells me that overcoming my fears will help in overcoming my anxiety. Perhaps because it may give me a confidence boost? HAHA. I’m not sure how things will go down, but I guess I just got to ride the flow.

Does anyone else have anxiety? Let me know!

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Zhi Chong says:

    Yes crowded places makes me have anxiety sometimes as well! And the stage fright… It’s always in my blood HAHAHA

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really? Didn’t know that about you. Does anything help you cope with it?

      Like

      1. Zhi Chong says:

        Yes, especially at unfamiliar environment. It’s the anxiety to get out of it. Well I will do my best to adapt. For performance wise, I took my spects off once on stage before, and it worked in a way since I can’t really see the audiences without my spects. However that kind of solution is really like escaping from your fear instead so I actually wore it again for my next performance and do my best to be totally absorbed in the song. And my stage fright varies with how grand the stage is haha.

        Like

      2. Yeah. Definitely agree with you on the unfamiliar environment part. It’s scary enough just thinking about it.

        Like

  2. Waffle says:

    hey love,

    i have had anxiety concerns as well for quite a couple years (but i think it may have developed when i had other concerns some years back when i first started poly) but how i usually deal with it is

    1. walk it off – walk away from the cause of my anxiety, walk to an uncrowded place
    2. music
    3. cry – i know it’a pretty ‘controversial’ to cry, but i’ve had countless times where i’ve cried in public (while walking, sitting in the train) and i would do deep breathing after i’m done crying

    hope i have helped in some ways!

    love you ❤️

    Like

    1. Definitely 🙂 there was once I cried on the train back from Changi Airport HAHA! How embarrassing but it does help in a way :’) Thankyou love!

      Like

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