# 24

; feeling like a useless bum

3 days after surgery, and I am still not better. 😥

In fact, I am getting worse actually. This morning I woke up, I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even turn onto my back to lie down. I felt pain in places I didn’t before.

Apparently my parents were feeling experimental today because they decided to bring me outside to do some shopping. Our plan was to have my parents on either side of me so that no one would bump into me accidentally.

Little did they know, no one had to bump into me, I bumped my head against the car myself whilst getting in. And our plan? I guess we never knew whether it would’ve worked out because they just walked right infront of me.

So whilst they went to grab their dinner, I was left alone roaming about the mall. And it was absolutely agonising.

I couldn’t walk properly because my balance was affected (I looked like a 2 year old trying to pull off a catwalk), and because I can’t hear anything clearly (even with my right ear exposed), I don’t hear footsteps or people talking. All I could hear were muffled noises or songs booming from the speakers all over.

Also, I can’t turn my head at all, because of the incision behind my ear. Whenever I try to turn my head that part hurts like as if it is tearing open.

Even more bad news, when I looked in the mirror to check on my tiny cotton ball friend in my ear, I noticed that there was blood. You would think that as a student nurse, I’d be nonchalant about it and just change it out, but honestly I’m scared out of my wits. We’ll just have to see how it goes.

Really, today was just a horrible experience.

But one thing made me happy today.

Yesterday, I found out about bullet journals on youtube. I watched a bunch of videos about them.

And today, I made my first two pages for the month of April! Well, I can’t really call mine a journal because it’s like grid papers from Muji in a folder from Muji as well. I did see a beautiful moleskin squared journal but it was like $37? So I decided to switch it up a bit and do it this way.

Actually, it may be better this way because I can add pages in between wherever I want, or I can switch out the pages too HAHA.

As most of you would probably know by now, I love art, no matter which form it is in. Be it performing arts or fine arts, I love it all. And even though I cannot sing or dance in my current situation, I’m grateful that I can still write and draw.

I think that doing up my bullet journal today was my major stress reliever of the day. And I am really elated that I found it on the internet (perhaps God knew that I’d be bored stiff not being able to do anything for the next couple of weeks, so he gave me this little present). 🙂

Next time you’re feeling down, do something you love! Let me know how your day was! xx

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥

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