# 36

; why I’m not suited for nursing

I just recently graduated with a Diploma in Health Sciences (Nursing), but I don’t think that I am suited for nursing, though some may say otherwise. Here are some reasons why.

1. I take things to heart easily.

Though I know that patients act ‘that way’ because they feel unwell, family members act ‘that way’ because they are worried or healthcare personnel act ‘that way’ because they are really busy, I still feel upset.

I don’t see why some patients have to take it out on nurses when they are the ones who are trying to help.

I don’t see why some family members have the right to reprimand nurses when it is not their fault that the food isn’t coming or the doctor is not there etc.

I don’t see why some doctors have to use a demeaning tone towards nurses when all they are trying to do is give suggestions according to the patient’s condition.

2. I feel like I’m heartless.

In this field where you see many deaths, you learn to detach yourself from your feelings when you are working overtime.

This is because it is deemed unprofessional to show any negative emotions during work.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I learnt to detach myself from my feelings quickly. Just imagine a stone-faced nurse when a patient has just passed away.

After the event passes, I would wonder multiple times if I truly had a heart.

Not only that, I realised that when people get hurt infront of my eyes, I am no longer panicky or worried unless the person is unconscious or I see a moderate amount of blood.

Could I be.. heartless?

3. I need to do things slowly.

I need to double check and triple check that I am actually doing the right thing.

When I get rushed, I mess up everything (I get anxious really easily).

Unfortunately, there is no time for dilly-dallying, and neither is there any room for mistakes.

4. I don’t have time for family or friends.

The shifts tire me out more than I’d like to admit.

When I am done with one shift, I am really just preparing myself physically and mentally for the next shift. If I had anything else in between that required me to use my brains or brawn, it feels like my lifeforce is being drained.

And that often leaves my loved ones feeling unloved because my face is like =.=, and my body is like a lump of slime.

5. I can’t do the things that I wish to do.

I couldn’t dance due to conflicting schedules.

I couldn’t go out for adventure as much as I’d love to.

I couldn’t do the things that my heart desired because I was literally either in the hospital or resting at home.


 

With all that being said, I truly do not regret learning how to be a nurse.

I loved looking after people.

I definitely gained much wisdom from my patients and also the nurses. It was thrilling enough, learning about everyone’s paths in life.

It was a good dream.


For the nurses out there, thank you. You are the true heroes. And happy belated Nurses’ day!

For the nurses-to-be in the world, I wish you the best of luck. Become someone you’d want to be taken care by. 🙂

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥

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