# 40

; Should I love or hate my face?

On my way out of the country last Saturday, I was looking out of this 7-seater car from the last window.

I saw a really nice car as we drove past it and a few moments later, the driver drove right next to ours with his windows rolled down. He stared straight into my eyes, with a smirk that intimidated me.

I didn’t know what to do, so I just looked away.

But in that moment, I remembered all the instances where I got the same look from other people. And I felt like breaking down.

The first thing I thought to myself was, “I hate my face.”

And it really does bother me a lot. It bothers me for days.

Sometimes I am glad that I have nice facial features. But sometimes, I feel like that’s the only thing people see about me.

I enjoy attention or being complimented but not for my looks.

It is one of the reasons why I hesitate losing weight. I’m afraid that once I lose weight, I may really end up being objectified totally.

But that’s the thing, I have been objectified in the past, partly due to the guys themselves and partly because of my naivety.

Though I may still be naive and clueless now, I am learning how to fish out the insincere ones.

And so I’ve decided that it’s finally time to embrace my feminine side and not care about how other people see me.

I will achieve what I want to, be it work-related or that lean figure I always dreamed of having.

And I’m sure that many people will support this decision of mine, to love myself instead of hating myself.

I hope that those who have something that they hate about themselves know that it’s alright to have those feelings. But focus on what YOU want for yourself.

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥

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