; when I knew that I’m bound to leave
I started becoming overly sensitive when people I want to go out with, just don’t have the time.
It’s like in my mind, I have a time bomb that is constantly counting down. And because of that persistent reminder, I get so frustrated when they can’t make it, even though I know that it’s not their fault.
I remember telling myself how much I wanted to do this and do that when I’m having my gap year.
Yet, all I’m doing is really ‘nothing’. I’m just doing what I think I should do.
I tire myself day and night thinking about how I can be of help to others when I’m still available for them. I live day after day just for the sole purpose of being there for anyone who needs me.
I have forgotten, that I should be doing what I really want to do. I have forgotten what it felt like to just hang out with myself.
What I truly need to do now, is spend time with myself because when will I ever get to in the future?
I should take the time to understand more about myself. I should take the time to experience the activities that I have always wanted to try out.
Spending time with family and friends should just come naturally. I mean, if they really want to spend time with me, they would ask, am I right?