℘ Life Update Time ℘
It was mentally draining and physically exhausting.
(18th June, Sunday)
I wrote the “Week of 12th June” in advance without knowing that this would have happened on Father’s Day itself.
It really came as a total shock to the entire family actually, even though grandpa deteriorated slowly for the past 6 years, and we knew that eventually he would pass on.
I was actually relaxing in a massage chair on a rainy morning when my aunt (who’s living with grandpa) called my mom to inform her that grandpa has passed on.
When I first heard my mom say “Grandpa has passed on” (in chinese), I was quite calm..? Or more like I didn’t know how to react to be honest. But I was thinking that I should follow my mother because I was unsure if she would speed on the road. I didn’t want to have another family member pass on (obviously).
However, when I saw my grandfather lying motionlessly on the bed, I still didn’t think that he was gone. I still thought that he was just sleeping peacefully as usual.
But he was.
Ever since that day, every time I remember how my grandpa used to rub his stubble against the back of my hand, I would tear a little, and my throat would hurt a little.
(22nd June, Thursday)
It was the day to send him off.
Seeing my grandpa lying in the coffin was like looking at a stranger?? His face just didn’t look the same because his eyes were stretched upwards at the end?? And then you add on the makeup and grandpa really didn’t look like himself.
BUT, the photo of him was great. My grandpa was really really handsome, even in his old age (99 years old).
The few hours felt like a lifetime if I were to be completely honest.
When it was my turn to give him my well wishes, I ugly cried infront of everyone HAHA. I really wanted to send him off with a huge child-like grin on my face as usual but everything just came out.
(23rd June, Friday)
The day to finally let him go came.
We brought his ashes out to sea and said our final well wishes and goodbyes to grandpa.
I think the most challenging part of the week was stabilising my mental state whenever I’m dancing at night.
But I constantly reminded myself that grandpa would want to see me smile and continue living happily and healthily. Yeah, that’s probably how I got through the entire week HAHA.
Song obsessions ❤ of the week:
- I Miss You by Biege.
- Silent Moon by 贾鹏芳 (Jia Peng Fang).