# 4

; “please listen”

Sometimes, or most of the time, I think of something that makes me wonder if I’ve gone bonkers. Other times, I have these bottled up feelings that I need to vent or I’d feel like I’m about to explode.

    Have you ever wanted to communicate your emotions to someone and yet the other party just shakes it off as ‘you’re thinking too much’ or rudely ignores you?

I experience it almost on a daily basis in the past. I used to be what people call a ‘social butterfly’, thus my friends who are cliquish always had common topics, and I would often be left out after saying ‘hello’.

Recently, I frequently think about my death. I think about how to help my friends even after I’m gone. I think about what to write for the friends I care about. I think about worldwide issues like world hunger, bullying, the homeless etc.

Yet, at my age, people normally just ponder over what they should eat for their next meal. Which is totally understandable. I admit that the topics I think of may be a little heavy.But even so, I can’t stop myself from imagining or thinking about all these ’emo’ or ‘depressing’ topics as they say.

Let me know if you are the type to easily dismiss others or the one who gets dismissed frequently like me? 😀

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥


# 3

; do what I preach

In this world, there are many issues/ things that not all people agree on. And I definitely have my own beliefs, just like everyone else.

But in this post, it’s mostly about my attitude towards others.

It is easy to be selfish and narrow-minded, but it is only right to look from other people’s perspectives/ view points in any situation. We expect others to respect us, treat us with kindness and understand our side of the story. But don’t we do the same?

I dislike people talking behind my back, but don’t I do the same when I tell my friends about how irritating some people can be?

Life is full of ironies, that is true. But we can help create better peace and harmony. Why do we have to ‘fight’ eye for eye?

If we continuously hurt one another, the hurt will never stop. It is hard enough to forget, and probably even harder to forgive, but nevertheless it is the only way to stop this sorrow.

I realised that I often talk about this, be it to myself or a few others, but I keep repeating these mistakes and it’s high time I change my ways. I should start to do what I preach. Not only regarding this issue, but all issues.

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥

# 2

; “you’re _”

You’re fat

I have heard this sentence repeatedly, possibly since I was three when I signed up for ballet class.

Sometimes, I resent my physical self. “Why can’t I be skinny like every other girl?”, was a question that stuck to my mind, even till now, if I’m going to be honest about this. On some days, when I am undeniably positive, I would tell myself, “Get your lazy ass out of bed and do some exercise.” Unfortunately, I didn’t have the willpower to tell myself that everyday. Hence, my weight fluctuates undesirably.

Every year on my birthday, I would wish for the same thing. One, good grades for the next year. Two, a slimmer body. But of course, I knew, that those things will not happen with a snap of my fingers. And over the years, I grew accustomed to those comments. So much that I would say it before they do, hoping that I would feel less hurt. But I didn’t.

Today, my junior wrote about body shaming on instagram, and I was incredibly touched. In this society where the majority ridicules the plus sized, there are actually people out there standing up for the not-so-skinny without hesitation. Yes, I am aware that she isn’t the first. But, it is easy to forget all the positive notions to change the world’s view on these issues and focus on the negativity.

So I guess I’ll choose to tell myself, “You’re alright.”

Let me know if someone has told you “you’re _”!

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥

# 1

; “hypocrites..?”

Not too long ago, I found out I have hypocritical friends.

It definitely isn’t something foreign to most. Yet, from this incident, I realised something important, that I didn’t before.

The whole incident is still pretty fresh in my mind. But I won’t be talking about it, because I don’t want to remember the incident or the people involved in it.

I felt terrible. Not because of the betrayal, but because I was a hypocrite in some ways as well. I said, “I love you”, without much thought. And when I realised that, I was incredibly embarrassed at my own thoughtless actions before.

Those three words, almost seems like a double-edged sword to me now. At the right moment, it is the sweetest thing that could be said, but in a sorrow memory, it is the worst thing to be remembered.

Hence, I decided that from today onward, I will not say those three words unless I really meant it.

How about you? Have you ever met hypocritical people?

Warmest hugs,

e.clair ♥